The First Recharge

xsneh.com

A digital home built from borrowed devices, expensive internet, games that felt impossible to leave, and the app that later turned into a whole online city.

open an object each one plays a part of the story

Who would have thought?

A quiet school memory unlocked by the core. It does not begin with an explanation. It begins with one blurred classroom moment, the kind that looks small until years later.

First Glance

Early days of class. Masks still on. Noise everywhere, then one quiet second. I saw her for the first time, and something stayed.

The Last Bencher Moves Forward

I used to sit far back, safe in the last bench world. Later, I moved near her on the first bench, pretending it was normal.

Attendance Became A Reason

Bunking disappeared from my dictionary. Sick days, lazy days, excuses, all of them lost because school had started meaning her.

The Half-Day Argument

When my father said I did not need to go, I kept asking why. I would still go, even if the day was only half full.

Becoming The Perfect Student

I chased captain badges for unfair advantages. Somehow, while acting responsible, I became responsible for real.

The Row Of Besties

My bench mate became my best friend. The boys in my row joined the mission with jokes, plans, and unnecessary confidence.

help?

The Secret Helpers

Even her bench mate knew. She asked if I really had a crush. I said yes. She said she would help, and she actually did.

code
run
lab
keys
fast net

Computer Lab Days

Sometimes it was just us in the lab. I had the keys, the room was empty, and the desktops made even silence feel electric.

The First Signs

She seemed shy while talking to me. I was not sure, but something had shifted. The air around small conversations changed.

The Staring Moment

After games, I came back with my bench mate. I felt someone staring. I looked toward her, and she blushed again and again.

Songs I Never Truly Sang To Her

I sang in my own way, not directly enough to confess, but close enough for the feeling to escape for a few seconds.

Register Work

I got tired, handed the work to my friends, sat behind them, and drank water. Again, that feeling: someone was looking. It was her.

Winter Sadness

Winter was supposed to be a break, but for me it became a countdown. The same benches stayed there, yet everything had already started becoming memory.

Will you not come after winter break? No.

Will You Not Come After Winter Break?

She asked. I replied no. She left without saying another word. That day, the usual smile was missing.

The Delayed Leaving

The transfer got delayed. I had my certificate, but I still kept attending school, happy for stolen extra days.

Bring Something For Me

She said to bring something. I asked why. She said just bring something. That evening, every shop was closed.

The Pen

She gave me a memory instead. She took a pen from my box and said, now this is mine. I said okay, keep it.

12:00 PM

The Last School Morning

My train was at noon. Still, I went to school that morning because I wanted to see my best friends one last time.

The Goodbye

I left after many pictures. I was sad. Some places end before we are ready to leave them.

The New School Never Knew Me

They never knew my true side because I never showed it. My performance dropped, and I could not fully understand why.

Life Goes On

It hurts, but that is life. Seasons change. People change. Life goes on and on and on.

The seat near her

I used to sit on the last bench. Later, I chose the first bench, near her. Small movement, huge reason.

First glance

Around the fifth or sixth day, I saw her wearing a mask. Something about that moment stayed.

Captain plan

For unfair advantages, I tried becoming class captain and house captain. I succeeded, then started taking it seriously.

code
run
lab
keys
fast net

Computer lab

Sometimes it was just us in the lab, coding and doing random things on powerful desktops with fast internet.

She blushed

I felt someone staring. When I looked toward her, she blushed. It happened again and again that day.

The row was with me

My bench mate became my best friend. The boys in my row treated the mission like a team operation, half jokes, half loyalty.

Songs I could not say

I sang in my own way. Not directly to her, but close enough for the feeling to exist somewhere outside my chest.

Register days

Attendance, records, class unity, chaos, and a few parts only me, her, and my best friend really knew.

12:00 PM

Transfer

My father said we were getting transferred across the country. That was the worst thing I could have heard.

The pen

She said this could be the last memory we would share. Then she took a pen from my box and said, now this is mine.

Good days ended

Some places end before we are ready to leave. Seasons change. People change. Life goes on and on and on.

After leaving

The new school never saw that version of me. Performance dropped. I am still trying to find that true potential again.

The Full Memory

Back then, going to school was actually fun because I had a crush on someone, and later I found out that she might have had a crush on me too. I will not reveal her name.

Just because of her, I used to attend school every single day. I attended every class. I forgot the meaning of bunking. Even when I was sick, I still went to school. One day, when my father told me I did not need to go to school the next day, I kept asking why. Why not? I would still go, even if it was only for half a day.

I was completely obsessed. Or maybe I was not. Who knows? Maybe the words already answer that. It started during the early days of class, maybe around the fifth or sixth day. I saw her for the first time wearing a mask, and something about her stayed with me.

Back then, I used to sit on the last bench, but later I chose the seat near her, on the first bench. For unfair advantages, I tried my best to become the class captain and the house captain of our school. And guess what? I succeeded.

It was the first time I had ever tried something like that. All it needed was becoming the perfect student in front of teachers, being responsible, and performing well. In those initial days, I became that student. Just for my crush, I changed myself and became one of the best students in the class.

But after becoming captain, I almost forgot why I had wanted it in the first place. Instead of using it for childish plans, I started taking my responsibilities seriously.

After a few months, I realized that I would have to leave that place soon, and I still had not completed my real purpose. I had created a good image in front of her, or maybe I had, but I had never really talked to her deeply.

Then I got a best friend. He was my bench mate, and honestly, he was the best. He helped me with my mission. The boys in my row were fully on my side. They used to joke that they would create situations just so I could come and save her.

Later, I found out that many other boys had a crush on her too. When I told my boys about it, they said, bro, just say the word. We will personally deal with them after school.

Things slowly became better between me and her. I used to plan small things, and with the help of my row, they somehow worked. Even her bench mate was with me. Her bench mate once asked me if I really had a crush on her. I said yes. She said she would help me. And she actually did.

I used to spend time with her in the computer science lab. Sometimes it was just me and her, coding together. Not even the teacher was there, because I had the lab keys and the lab was often empty. We had fast internet there and powerful desktops, so we used to code and do random things together.

Then, slowly, I started noticing small changes in her behavior. She seemed shy while talking to me. That was the first sign, but I was not sure. One day, the boys and I were outside for games. Most of the class was outside too, except her and a few others. After almost two periods, my bench mate and I went back to the classroom. I suddenly felt like someone was staring at me. When I looked toward her, she blushed. It happened three to five times that same day.

I used to sing songs for her, not directly in front of her or the whole class, but in my own way. Those songs carried the feeling I could not say directly.

A few days later, I was doing register work because the teacher had assigned it to me. Back then, classes were not regular, so a few of us were responsible for attendance and other class records. Some parts of that time are still private, because only me, her, and my best friend knew certain things.

Our class unity was at its peak. A lot of chaotic things happened in school during that time, and somehow nobody ever found out who was really behind some of them. But that is a different story.

Coming back to me and my crush. After doing some register work, I handed it to my friends because I was tired. I sat on the desk behind them and started drinking water. Again, I suddenly felt that strange feeling, like someone was staring at me. It was her. Nobody else noticed because only four of us were present in class at that moment. She blushed twice before I left the classroom.

Then the story reached an ending I never expected. My father informed us that we were getting transferred across the country. One sentence changed the whole season.

Winter was supposed to be a break, but for me it became a countdown. The same classroom, the same benches, the same faces, and still everything felt different because I knew I was leaving. The air had changed. Laughter was still there, but it no longer sounded the same. Every ordinary day started becoming precious because I knew it would not repeat.

Eventually, I informed my teacher, and everyone came to know. My classmates were sad, but she was different. She came to me and asked if I would not come back after winter break. I replied no. She left without saying another word. That smile was not on her face that day.

After vacation, our transfer plan got delayed a little. I had already taken my transfer certificate, but I was still attending school. I was happy because I could still see everyone for a little longer.

One day she said, bring something for me tomorrow. I asked why. She said, just bring something. But that day, every shop was closed, and I could not give her anything. She gave me something instead. She said this could be the last memory we would share. Then she took a pen from my box and said, now this is mine. I just looked at her and said, okay, keep it.

The next day, I had to leave. Our train was scheduled to depart at 12:00 PM, but I still attended school just to see my best friends one last time in person, because I knew we might never meet like that again. I left after taking many pictures. I was sad. My good days had ended.

The classmates in my new school would never know my true side, because I would not show it to them. I wanted to stay there for a little longer, but I could not. After coming here, my academic performance became worse. I could not understand why, but it happened. I am still trying to become better and find my true potential again.

It hurts, but that is life. Seasons change. People change. But life goes on and on and on.

Yours,
Your host and friend,
@xsneh